Day 31...AKA One, or the other

Yeah, I know. It's been awhile. Like, AWHILE. But guess what, I'm still going :)

Life intervened, and suddenly a daily post seemed laughably impossible...like when? WHEN? would I have time to post, between work, life, more work, dance, actually doing yoga, work and weekends full of fun? Have pity on me people, I was too busy having fun!! (bwah hah hah!!)

Yup. So I figured I had time for one or the other...post, or bend.

I chose bend.

So where am I after 31 days of yoga? (Seriously...never missed a day. Not even when my head was so stuffed up that I think it hermetically sealed every time I shut my mouth...big thanks to YogaJournal.com for listing poses that work for the breathing-impaired.)

1.) I sleep better. Way better.

2.) I have triceps!! Actual triceps. Better triceps than what I had after 4 months at Curves.

3.) Better balance. Dance feels easier, I have better endurance.

4.) I'm proud of the commitment, and I really love it. Like, I'm hooked...and I'm convinced that Downward Dog is the best exercise ever.

5.) I'm happier. For real. I feel it, others have commented on it, and it's a daily occurence.

And really, that's all that matters.

So, I'll endeavor to post more...because I like to, and that was the whole point of starting this blog, as a sort-of diary of this whole experience. But on those days, which is most days, where life is keeping me running without pause, I'll be choosing to do yoga, rather than write about it.

Day 10

Jan. 10

Asanas: take a g(aiam)uess...

Anatomy of a Sunday:

9:45 a.m. Get up, grumpy sleepy tired headache stuffy wah.

10:30 a.m. Pub breakfast with the usual suspects, and additional gang. Mmm...melt-in-your-mouth bacon. Despite transcendental bacon, my head still pounds.

1:00 p.m. Driving, Starbucks, teaching a lesson in deductive sculpture to an interesting 10 yr. old. We sling mud and talk about the injustices of grade 4, and being 33. They are surprisingly similar.

3:45 p.m. Crawling through the supermarket looking for greens. They all look like crap, and come from very, very far away. I am sidetracked by pork and broccoli and cheapo boxed pastry shells (note: these ingredients were not used together...although...)

4:45 p.m. Home, kitchen attack. Warming of tourtière filling, thawing of soup, chopping of fruit, making of crisp, washing of dishes (mothaf$#@...)

5:45 p.m. As tourières bake, I yoga. Moment of meat pie-fragranced peace is SO AWESOME. Quad muscles rejoice in stretching (also scream at me, but mostly rejoice.)

7:30 p.m. After WASHING MORE DAMNED DISHES, I step back to admire the awesomeness of meat pie and fruit crisp belated holiday gifts that I have baked for beloved coworkers. I finally feel like I have created a fitting 'thank you' for their continued awesomeness and hilarity.

8:00 p.m. Brother shows up for dinner, tourtière and garlic sautéed broccoli and apple/pear/cranberry crisp. We are all satisfied, and there's an hour and half of Simpsons on. And, during this hour and a half, we get to see pasty, awesome Morgan Spurlock in a really small speedo...essential to a successful Sunday dinner...

10:40 p.m. Mr. Awesome enjoys a slice of hand-pie (you'll have to ask him about that) while I blog, and remember the 296 things that I didn't get to this weekend. Oh well. At least we're full.

Day 9

Jan. 9th...stepping back into the dance...

Asanas: my own 'stretch' blend, from the Yoga Stretch iPod app, with a better flow this time.

Mountain pose, forward bend, warrior variation, downward dog, cat, cow, child's pose, spinal twist, knees to chest, savasana

I danced for the first time in about a month today. Tonight, I am SORE. My feet hurt, my shoulders are tight, and my core feels like it's had it's ass handed to it. I couldn't believe how rusty I felt after the break from it all, but I was also impressed with how focused my balance felt during spins and slow moves, and I'm sure that I have yoga to thank for this.

It was freakin' awesome to dance again, I was happy to be with my girls and Valizan and back in the studio with the music and energy.

Tonight's practice was short and sweet, with a focus on stretching out those parts of me that worked hard today. I feel that tomorrow's practice will need to be more of the same. I am slowly starting to figure out what poses work with one another in a sequence...part of me feels like I should just listen to myself and put whatever poses that seem good together, and part of me really wants someone to show me how to do this whole shebang 'cause I suck at transitioning between poses...I'm considering finding a drop in class for a once-a-week learning session. In the meantime, I'm scoping out more yoga apps (god... there are a lot of lame-ass apps out there...I was searching under 'belly dance' for shits and giggles and I was totally dismayed to find porny-photo apps of photoshopped belly dancers, and super lame 'diva dance' type crap...LAME) and I think that a trip to the library this week might be necessary, in the hunt for more ways to be bendyer.

I'm seriously starting to fall asleep writing this, Mr. Awesome has been put to bed with a nasty cold and I'm feeling totally zombified myself, however, I want to share this one piece of fabulousness. Back in October Maya Fire (our ATS dance troupe) had applied to perform at the International Belly Dance Conference of Canada this coming April. We received confirmation yesterday that we had actually been selected, and for a main stage performance!! I am speechless...

So...it is good to step back into the dance. The break was needed and enjoyed, and I am even happier to be back in step once again.

Best part of tonight's practice: doing my own thing according to my body's needs, and feeling fine about it.

Day 8

Jan. 8 (posted Jan. 9th...for reasons to be revealed...)

Asanas: Gaiam same old same old DVD, 'cause it just works this week.

Points of note:

1.) I have been doing yoga now for one whole week. I am pleased. I lie in bed with Mr. Awesome as we are falling asleep, and he asks me "so, do you notice a difference having done yoga everyday for a week?" and I think about the week past and notice a thread of 'goodness' running from thought to thought. So I tell him yes, it's been good, I feel...calmer, I do feel more flexible, in every sense...and it's true. I had a really great Friday yesterday...it was just so damn pleasant. Better yet, I actually noticed that it was.

2.) Mr. Awesome's computer went kaput. 2 years old, just finished paying for it, and it goes hamsta' bwain on us. $310 later, it's at the shop for a brain transplant. Hence, he's on my computer more until we get the iMac back early in the week. I tried posting from my iPod last night after my practice, but couldn't without an app that I then couldn't find. I went to bed instead.

3.) Apart from mechanical and digital devices giving up the ghost yesterday, it seemed like a lot of people were having good stuff happen to them.

We are both feeling a bit under the weather, so this weekend is about slowing down and relaxing so that we can hit the week running. Oh, and it's about dancing, too...as I will describe later.

Best part of practice: naptime with Nono

Day 7

Jan. 7th

Asanas: Gaiam Yoga maintenance weight loss DVD sequence...'cause I LOVE it so...especially at night. Especially tonight. I swear I did at least half of the sequence with my eyes shut, or shutting.

I'm too tired to write anything. I need to get way more sleep...the lack of it drives me into the arms of red wine and a bit of the sugar that I've been so good to avoid this week and makes me feel like utter crap. Both myself and Mr. Awesome feel a bit under the weather, so it's time to dose the oregano oil like mad and hit the hay.

Best part of the practice tonight...feeling that the distance between my hands was a little bit less when clasping my hands behind my shoulders...and feeling my shoulders and neck open up.

Day 6

Jan. 6

Asanas: Mountain, extended side angle, triangle, warriors, forward bends, cobra, child's pose, cat, cow, camel, bow, downward dog, knee sit, savasana - a crazy quilt of random!

How is it the 6th already? My Dad told me that this was the day that my Grandma would traditionally take down the tree...ours sits still in it's finery on our balcony, sleeping now til spring. I'll get around to de-decorating it tomorrow night.

Was up at 6:30 this morning to yoga with Nono. The apartment was freezing, and I felt beyond irritated that I was out of my warm warm WARM bed. I finally tried out my Yoga Stretch app on my iPod, which enables the user to design their own sequences. I have discovered that I need to learn more about sequencing poses! My practice actually had me laughing at it's randomness; do mountain pose! Now cobra! Now camel! Now side angle! Now bow pose! (wtf!) Now downward dog! No transitions for you!!! It was a sequence programmed by a crazy person...and that person was me, apparently. So now I have homework...figure out some basic philosophy regarding what poses go together and why.

Regardless of the bi-polar-style practice, it really woke me up and I felt very ready for the day, even after a mere 6 hours of sleep. Mr. Awesome and I enjoyed a vietnamese dinner date (complete with comic books) this evening, and the pho was slurpingly consumed, fuel against the cold weather we've been having. We hung out on the couch and watched Food, Inc. afterwards, which was utterly fascinating and turned out to be somewhat of a companion to two of my favorite books, 'The Omnivore's Dilemma' and 'In Defense of Food'. In all honesty, reading both of these books changed my life, and I refer to them frequently. I was stoked to see that the movie was tied in to them.

I am now letting go of the anger, hopelessness and disgust that welled up in me while watching it. I'm not going to get into specifics. Just watch the movie. Read 'The Omnivore's Dilemma' and 'In Defence of Food' by Michael Pollan while you're at it. I am a food nerd, and have read endlessly on the subject of our food (mono)culture and industry, but the images from the movie are seared into my brain, and my resolve to continue voting with my food dollar has been hardened yet again. Everything boils down to respect, and I'm left thinking again and again that the reason things seem so broken most of the time in this world is because of a general lack of it, and the ignorance that keeps us from wondering where it went.

I'm heading to bed thinking that I'm going to let tomorrow dictate when my practice will take place...normally I plan in advance, will it be morning, evening? but I think that tomorrow will let me know tomorrow...I (again) have lots to think about tonight.

Best part of practice today? the extended side angle pose (utthita parsvakonasana) ♥♥♥

Day 5

Jan. 5th

The looooooooong Tuesday.

Asanas: staff pose, downward dog, a bunch of leg/hip/foldy/stretchy ones, legs over head, torso twists, courtesy of Gaiam's DVD Maintenance Yoga for Weight Loss with the infuriatingly slender and calm Susan Deason.

I work two jobs on Tuesday...first all day at my desk, then all evening behind a cash, or in the fine arts department, or fielding questions from (often dim) customers in the art store. It's a 13 hour day when it's all said and done. But, the upside is that I get to work with really good friends who make me laugh and we all hug a lot...hug and wrestle and beat each other up and make entirely inappropriate jokes out of mundane words like 'bag' 'batch' and pretty much any other double-entendre that can be abused...it's really quite friendly and happy, even when customers make us nuts. Which is always.

I had a great chat with my pal S tonight who practices yoga himself fairly often when he's not running a store or chas

ing after his 3 year old or generally being cool beans. I showed him my cool yoga apps and expressed my concern that I would never, ever, EVER be able to do half of the poses so beautifully executed by the perfect skinny people in the photos. He pointed out which people in the photos had the best tits and asses, and then told me that yes, someday, I would be able. It was just nice to hear it from a voice outside of my head. Also, good to have a 2nd opinion on who has the best tit/ass combo. Ahhh...boys.

I did the Gaiam dvd tonight...it's a great sequence

for night, it really puts my head in a good place. I like the flow of the poses, the feet-up poses and awesome stretching with a strap, and the music in the program is so so pretty, it's just lovely to sit and be present and listen to it.

Best part of the practice was Nono, fresh from dinner, quietly fighting for a sliver of mat space with me while I finished the sequence. He then stretched out with me and we both did savasana, then flipped on our sides for extreme belly-rub action. Yoga + cat = awesome.

Tomorrow morning, for the first time, I will do yoga before work. This means that I have to get up at 6:30, which means that I have to go to bed. Now.

Day 4

Jan. 4, or, Fear and Loathing in Las Changeroom.

Asanas: Ray of Light sequence (twice) plus my own attempts at 2 warriors, twice, and 2 triangle poses.

Fuck me, I fucking hate fucking Walmart. I hate everything about the shopping experience there, or lack thereof. I was happy to have a received a hugely generous gift card from my in-laws for Walmart for Christmas, which meant finally! New work pants! But really, it meant pain and suffering and self-loathing in a filthy box of a change room. Apparently I am a big fat fuck. I looked in the mirror at myself in too-long-not-right-weird-cut pants and sweaters that looked adorable on the hanger, only to instantly morph into yarn-vomit on me and just felt so defeated. I *hated* myself in that mirror. I said some awful things to myself within the walls of my brain.

I walked out with a sweater, and a pair of pants erroneously picked up in regular length instead of petite (which means I get to go back to Walmart...fucking joy...) and a shirt, stuffed into bags with my leeks and cabbage...and didn't feel great about them. That's not cool, they were a gift.

I promptly went home, growled at Mr. Awesome as soon as I walked in the door about how much I fucking hate myself instead of hugging him and greeting him properly, and stomped into the bedroom, bitching all the way. He looked hurt...not 'cause I was bitchy, but because I was saying such awful crap about myself. I have the same look when he pulls a similar stunt. Our partners mirror us and neither of us can stand hearing each other put ourselves down. And, for the record, we both hate shopping for pants.

I put dinner in the oven and decided to disappear into the bedroom to do yoga while Mr. Awesome watched wrestling. I'm one pose away from giving up and diving into the remaining Quality Street chocolates ("why am I even doing this?! Who the fuck am I to think that I can even do yoga every day...I'm such a fat ass I can barely support my own weight! Fuck! Pass the fucking chocolate!!") when he comes in the bedroom, and tells me that the downward dog that I was currently in was, in his words, perfect. He tells me I am a perfect triangle. I am a perfect triangle!!

Suddenly, I am renewed. I do the sequence again...still can't do 4-legged staff whateverthehellit'scalled without belly-flopping on the mat, but I make it through...I focus on 3 long breaths in each pose. The floor work is killing my left hand, so I decide to switch to the warriors, 'cause I love them, for no reason other than that. I rock them. ATS has made my shoulder stronger so I can gaze over my fingertips with less wavering than before. While lying in my beloved savasana, my sore wrist propped up on the warm rad (due to space constraints) I cry a bit realizing how incredibly mean I was to myself in the change room. If I was in a relationship with myself and I said that to myself, I would've walked out on myself. Like forever. Kaput. It would've been over. Crazy thing is that I think that I might talk to myself like that, all the time...

It's been a lot to think about tonight.

Day 3

Jan. 3rd (written on the cusp of Jan. 4th...oh, wait, it's past midnight. Crap.)

Asanas: I have no idea. They included one that had my ass up in the air so hilariously that I laughed at myself and almost choked 'cause I was upside down, transitioning to downward dog.

I followed a Gaiam dvd today. There was a lot of twisting, floor work, and the good long downward dog...I will research the actual poses and list them when I figure out what they are...

This is going to be short, I have to sleep. Today was my official last day of holidays. I will miss Mr. Awesome tomorrow, 'cause it's been super AWESOME spending 10 days with him. I will miss Nono and his perpetual sleeping, coziness and cute overload. And I will be happy to be back to work at a job that I like, away from holiday food and sweets and the alcohol that beckons me every hour it seems, even if I was working all day on stuff that I wish I had done last week. I am happy to report that the time off has been so effective that I am actually looking forward to getting back to work. Holy hell, who knew I needed a break that badly? (Um...everyone put your hands down...point taken...)

Today's practice was around 7 pm, just before starting dinner, as a pause between the productive day and the productive evening that was to ensue. I followed a dvd that I had all but forgotten that I had, meaning that I was doing yoga in a 4.5 X 7 foot area in front of my sofa and tv. Good thing I'm short...I was still colliding with the sofa on the knees-to-chest, roly-poly floor work. But it was relaxing and soothing and I had little moments of noticing small beautiful, random compositions in my otherwise messy house...The session was 30 mins long. It flew past. I wanted to stay in savasana forever, but I always do.

I actually got stressed out about work this evening and found myself wanting to yell at my computer, drop everything and stretch out again. Have a feeling that I'll start wishing that there was a way I could sneak some ninja yoga in at work...or in traffic...or while shopping...or....

I slept well (again!) in our own bed last night, and I look forward to it again...right...NOW.

Day 2

Jan. 2 (actually written on Jan. 2...go me.)

Asanas: (Sweet Surrender sequence) Butterfly pose, Sphinx, Seal, Child's Pose, Half Dragonfly, Dragonfly, Full Forward Bend, Savasana

I slept better than usual last night. Don't know if it was 'cause of yoga, or snow shoveling, or the transcendental boeuf bourgignon that I made from scratch and ate with gusto...or the copious amounts of wine...Regardless, my hands didn't fall asleep while stuffed under my pillow while I was sleeping, and I didn't wake up with phantom limbs. I did, however, wake up with sore muscles...

Christmas holiday is officially over. We drove home today...nothing like 6 hours in a car to make your body feel AWESOME. As my darling D would say: "my neck, she is broken, like the wall..."

To unwind, I decide some 11 pm yoga was necessary...that, and I hadn't done yoga yet today. Mr. Awesome waited patiently for me as I spent about 20 mins basically stretching...stretching, but with intention and breathing. I find butterfly pose hard on the hips, but I tell myself I am ok with the discomfort and just hang out. Sphinx makes my back feel wicked, which makes all of me feel good...especially when Mr. Awesome comes in, finds me doing yoga in my underpants, and compliments me on my butt. I. Love. This. Man.

I spend entirely too much time feeling smug about my ass, and I let my shoulders wuss out. Very unsphinxlike. I smarten up. Seal pose kills my wrist...I hang on for about 1.5 mins and then just put myself down on the mat to rest. I hate child's pose...I do it with the 'fat-ass variation'...meaning I stack my fists, put my head on them, and open my knees so that I can actually kneel in position without tipping forward or backwards. Sigh. The dragonflies and forward bend are good in that "I'm gonna make my legs longer come hell or high water" kind of way. I spend a good 6 or 7 mins on savasana...happy.

After it all, I eat lentil soup with lemon and a falafel pocket sammich with lots of garlic. I feel pretty good. I was actually looking forward to my yoga today...a good sign.

Day 1

Jan. 1 (written on Jan. 2...ignore time delay please...)

Asanas: (Ray of light - sun salutation variation) Tadasana, Urdhva Hastasana, Uttanasana, Ardha Uttanasana, high lunge, Adho Mukha Svanasana, plank pose, Chaturanga Dandasana (barely), Urdhva Mukha Svanasana, Savasana

Holy crap, it's 2010. My

year of yoga challenge is already here. I am totally unprepared.

I enact the first of 365 yoga practices with two quiet repetitions of a variation of sun

salutation. It's really more of a snow salutation, as I stand in mountain pose, watching lovely snow flakes drift past the window. I can smell Christmas tree.

This is the first time I've done yoga since October. At 3 poses in, I am reminded that it's really hard. I am using Yoga Journal iPractice as my guide, this cool little app that I found for my iPod. The woman's voice is a bit higher pitched than I would like (all yoga instructors should be British dammit...with

that 'keep calm and carry on' or 'mind the gap' kind of accent...) but I kind of get used to it, the background music is just about right for first thing in the first morning of the year.

All eager to impress myself, I set the time between poses to 2.5 minutes...I just know that my inner peace will increase in leaps and bounds with a luxurious 2 and a half minutes on each pose. About 2.5 minutes later, I am stunned at my idiocy. "WTF was I thinking?" I yell to myself as I'm hanging in downward dog for what seems like an eternity. My shoulders swear hotly at me, my left wrist, always generally sore and even further bruised from a slip on the ice on New Year's eve, calls me co

mpounded names I don't dare repeat here. I totally pussy out at almost 2 mins in, collapse and pause the program, setting the time between poses to a realistic 30 seconds. I completely suck at some of the poses...my transitions are wonky, I feel my girth, weight and lack of bendyness in every single second. I remind myself that this is DAY ONE a gazillion times.

My body, now angered by hanging upside down for ridiculous amounts of time, sends a speedy message to my brain that reads something like "screw you, yoga keener you get to do this one more time before i make you HURT FOR REALS!" so I tell myself it's ok, I'm only just starting, and so two reps will be fine. Secretly, I am beyond relieved. My

shoulders and I call a truce. Seriously, Oct. 9 was the LAST time I did yoga. I'm a total beginner, wet behind the ears...or maybe I'm just bleeding out my ears from spending TOO MUCH TIME UPSIDE DOWN...?

I am head-butted by the dog as I transition into downward dog the second time around. I take this as a good omen, despite the fact that he damn near knocks me on my ass...

Whilst dead in corpse pose, I smell coffee brewing. The rest of the family is up, and they are preparing to caffeinate me. Bless their cotton socks.

About 4 hours later, I realize just how sore I SUDDENLY AM. Crap.